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February 26, 2023 journal

to be willing to search

I broke a personal distance record yesterday while running very slowly, though my current “slow” speed would spike my heart rate at least by 10bpm just a few weeks ago. I accomplished…

February 19, 2023 journal

when my body goes rogue

[cw: pain, death] Yesterday I started experiencing pain in my body again. It is difficult not to feel low when it happens. I think chronic pain snowballs into a form of ptsd,…

January 29, 2023 journal

why my health is precious

On the outside, I look fine. Even in the worst of my health, I looked athletic, glowing even with a perpetual tan. Just like we can’t tell if someone has diabetes, we…

January 22, 2023 journal

why I love running

In 2018 I ran 60 days straight because I hated running, so I needed to depend on streak challenge. I hated running because I didn’t know how to run. Every run was…

January 5, 2023 journal

2023: aspirations

I have always written long-form for previous years’ new year’s posts, but I thought for this year I will adopt the bullet-point format like my year-in-review. Also previously I had focused on…

December 18, 2022 journal

stability or aliveness with biometrics

[cw: dieting for nutrition, severe PMS] Last week I wondered what is the price of the short bout of aliveness I had in Bangkok – I thought it would be interesting to document some…

December 9, 2022 journal

what is the price of aliveness

While travelling in bangkok there is a sense of exhaustion as I have a fear of missing out. I felt like I couldn’t rest, because I wanted to do so much and…

November 6, 2022 journal

breaking out of rigid thinking

I was very disorganised and messy when I was younger, and I often could not get things done. I was also very unfit – who wants to exercise when one can lie…