This library contains collections and resources. A resource can be a link, book, podcast, video or anything that I’ve learned something from. They are curated into themed collections. Alternatively, here’s a simple list of books I’ve read and recommend.
- how we were loved profoundly influences how we live and love
- born to run: thoughts & learnings
- insights from a forest monk
- a review of Wintering by Katherine May
- on becoming a person
books with imported highlights
- The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
- Molecules of Emotion by Candace B. Pert
- Spark by John J. Ratey, Eric Hagerman
- On becoming a person by Carl Rogers
- The brain changes itself by Norman Doidge
last updated collections
books that informed and shaped my understanding of buddhist and zen philosophy
notes that are unedited /ideas-in-progress / short-form writing
blogs I enjoy reading
last updated resource
Attachment security continues to be a powerful predictor of life success. The securely attached children have a considerable edge in self-esteem and popularity as high school students, while the insecurely attached are proving excessively susceptible to the sad ensnarements of adolescence—delinquency, drugs, pregnancy, AIDS. Almost two decades after birth, a host of academic, social, and personal variables correlate with the kind of mother who gazed down at her child in the cradle.
A friend recommended me this book, and my life was changed permanently, the way I love and want to be loved, the way I see and understand people.
Winnicott says somewhere that health is much more difficult to deal with than disease. And he’s right, I think, in the sense that everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
Love is simultaneous mutual regulation, wherein each person meets the needs of the other, because neither can provide for his own. Such a relationship is not 50-50—it’s 100-100. Each takes perpetual care of the other, and, within concurrent reciprocity, both thrive. For those who attain it, the benefits of deep attachment are powerful—regulated people feel whole, centered, alive. With their physiology stabilized from the proper source, they are resilient to the stresses of daily life, or even to those of extraordinary circumstance.
Because loving is reciprocal physiologic influence, it entails a deeper and more literal connection than most realize. Limbic regulation affords lovers the ability to modulate each other’s emotions, neurophysiology, hormonal status, immune function, sleep rhythms, and stability. If one leaves on a trip, the other may suffer insomnia, a delayed menstrual cycle, a cold that would have been fought off in the fortified state of togetherness.