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the answer I must seek

My partner pitter patters around the house constantly, always looking for something to do, always scheming up some new creative project of hers. Being with her is an ongoing lesson and reminder…

trying too hard to hold onto the good experiences we are currently having

Buddhist psychology is uniquely insightful, I think, when it comes to the specific version of clenching I was experiencing on that hillside path: how we make ourselves miserable, not just by railing against bad experiences, or craving experiences we aren’t having, but by trying too hard to hold onto the good experiences we are currently having.

a wet mouldy sponge

Yesterday after a strength-training session I had a very innocuous mini argument with my partner about misplacing some things at home. Which after I simply slumped and curled up into a ball…

pandemic grief and sadness

One of the biggest cognitive dissonances I’ve had in this pandemic is seeing almost everyone I know – including the most intelligent and the most socially responsible – throw away all covid…

getting closer to my darkness

I have always struggled with my mind, but the intensity seemed to worsen in the past few months. Tracing back, I think it was since my covid infection.  I wasn’t surprised to…

thoughts on the suicidal mind

[tw: suicide] I watched Roadrunner, a documentary about Anthony Bourdain, and it left me a lot of thoughts as someone who has struggled with my own existence my entire life. Though I am writing…

42

Last year, I wrote I wanted to learn how to cope. I don’t think I have learnt to cope well yet, but I do think I have made some progress compared to…