the reality that exists in me
I just had my period, so I am feeling a little more fatigued than usual. Every month around this time I tend to wonder why the body finds it so difficult to…
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one-year covid anniversary reflections
Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the day I tested positive for covid for the first time. All things considered I thought I had done well to avoid it for three years…
pandemic grief and sadness
One of the biggest cognitive dissonances I’ve had in this pandemic is seeing almost everyone I know – including the most intelligent and the most socially responsible – throw away all covid…
a snapshot of my psyche, and an egg sandwich
Sometimes I think I am too “purist” in the way I live: I am always trying to do the “right” thing, but perhaps what is the right thing for me intellectually may…
where i can take off my mask
Recently I’ve been getting some feedback from multiple sources that they appreciate I am able to write it as it is. In parallel I’ve also been thinking about why I share so much…
to be my self is to be lonely
Loneliness is a frequent theme in my writing. I struggle with it a lot, but not in the way most people do. People seem to need frequent social interactions and a wide…
when only words are left
I just finished reading “No longer human” by Osamu Dazai – the book is problematic because of its misogynistic themes but also representative of its times, published in 1948. I picked up…
out of control
I don’t know about other people, but my relationship with life is as though I’m in an abusive relationship. I feel like I am always walking on eggshells, I am almost fearful…
the isolating experience of my migraines
Migraines are a strange illness. People who have not had it before think it is “just a headache”. If you can move around and accomplish more than half of your usual activities,…
to uncover a self
Last week I read about Kodo Sawaki, a zen master who apparently called himself the most deluded human being in the world, that is why he must meditate. This is why I…