I am now reading “Meditations for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman, whom I’m a big fan of because he has this way of distilling profound insights. Here are my two favourite quotes midway through the book:
The late British Zen master Hōun Jiyu-Kennett, born Peggy Kennett, had a vivid way of capturing the sense of inner release that can come from grasping just how intractable our human limitations really are. Her teaching style, she liked to say, was not to lighten the burden of the student, but to make it so heavy that he or she would put it down…Kennett’s insight was that it can often be kinder and more effective to make their burden heavier – to help them see how totally irredeemable their situation is, thereby giving them permission to stop struggling.
The above quote is something I deeply relate to these days. Sometimes I think true hope can only manifest when we accept there is no more hope. I often make myself bear the unbearable, and there is this chronic exhausting wish that this world or my situation can be better. But I am increasingly learning to accept that things are really bad, and that is just the reality of life. Instead of wasting my energy unrealistically wishing that things can be better, why don’t I focus on finding ways to sustain myself through this horror? It is when I truly acknowledge that it is truly horrible then I can find a realistic response to it.
You could say the worrier gets things exactly backwards. He’s so terrified that he might not be able to rely on his inner resources, later on, when he reaches a bridge that needs crossing, that he makes superhuman efforts to bring the future under his control right now. In fact he should devote less energy to manipulating the future, and have more faith in his capacity to handle things once the challenge actually arrives. If it arrives, that is
And this quote is just so me. I lack fundamental trust in myself, and I am always trying to control an uncontrollable future. Why don’t I store my energy instead of worrying, so I can hoard enough of it to deal with it when shit happens?
Some things sound so simple, but so difficult to apply in our lives. But I do believe with enough repetition, they may become ingrained in us.