We are in Gyeongju now, a place full of cute hanoks and rolling green hills that are actually tombs which are thousands of years old.
The weather has been rather unpredictable: searing hot sun for a moment, and then torrential heavy rain. This morning we almost had to plead with a restaurant owner to sit outdoors – they asked if we had a reason, and my partner responded that we are covid cautious, so they relented. Unfortunately it started raining very heavily less than 15 minutes after we were seated, so they had to cancel our order even though the food was already being prepared.
We have had to tell people we are “covid cautious” several times whether we are travelling or in Singapore, though we are not sure if they actually understand what we mean. Most of the time it is to justify a seemingly unreasonable request to them – like wanting to sit outdoors in the hot sun where nobody wants to step out of the comfortable air-conditioning to serve us. Once in Singapore we told a restaurant server we want to sit outdoors because we are covid cautious, and they became unreasonably angry. The word “covid” has become like an unspeakable word, and people like us who would still like to avoid the virus have become social pariahs.
That a virus is airborne and therefore indoor-dining is high risk shouldn’t be too difficult to understand even for people without a science background. But it somehow is. Even for people who understand it they don’t want to understand, because it would mean acknowledging the fact that we are now constantly being surrounded by something that can easily disable us.
Nothing much has changed since omicron arrived, the variant that caused a pandemic that is too contagious to control. Waves are still high now, one after another, while hospitalisation rates are still high in many countries. The virus never really went away. But somehow because we are tired of it we are now pretending it is over, and it is now safe to do anything because it is “endemic”. Somehow the word “endemic” has changed to become a word that means harmless.
After living in a generation that seemed to go from strength to strength in terms of knowledge and science, I am now witnessing an actual rapid decline. It feels unbelievable.
My partner and I are now being treated as weird people, because we wear masks, don’t dine indoors, and we don’t dine with family or friends. Recently I have a fellow covid cautious acquaintance who hung out with a group of close friends after they insisted they “recovered” from a recent infection. Sadly, now the acquaintance’s family member is now positive with covid. Imagine reading countless studies that show that the virus is systematically damaging, then trying really hard to protect themselves by making so many lifestyle tradeoffs for years, only to get infected because a friend they trusted let them down. People also don’t know asymptomatic spread is a thing.
Doing the right thing in this society can be a very lonely endeavour, and it doesn’t only apply to covid cautiousness. I am glad I have a partner doing this with me and she’s actually more cautious than me, so she’s always assessing the risk for us. I used to joke a lot that I would be a nun if not for my partner, but in this climate I don’t think even being a nun would be feasible for me, because I doubt monastics are covid cautious.
I’ve also been called “bonkers” on facebook by an acquaintance because of our very public covid cautiousness. This person hardly interacts with my stuff but saw the need to tell me I’m bonkers. I am not alone in being treated this way, evident with the stories shared by fellow covid cautious people.
Why are we the ones regarded as bonkers when we are the ones following the science, and that we want to do our best to protect our health? Why do we live in a society where mask-wearing is so triggering to people?
Thankfully for us the heavy rain lightened after a while. We tried to takeout food from a few restaurants but they don’t do takeout at all. Felt really discouraged – just because we are careful about our health we had to spend an hour trying to look for food. I guess there is always the convenience store, and some zero-covid people may feel we deserve this because we are travelling unnecessarily. What a strange space to occupy: pariahs to the average people because we are moderately covid cautious, pariahs to the zero-covid people because we are travelling.
I told my partner we’ll take a last shot at one final restaurant before giving up. What a lovely surprise when we saw sheltered, beautiful out-door sitting:
Despite the difficulties of being covid cautious while travelling, I am still rather grateful to be able to travel. Yes we mostly don’t get to choose what to eat, instead we are directed by the places that have outdoor seating and are kind enough to let us actually dine there.
^This is an example of a restaurant that had outdoor sitting but they are more like props. The server said no when we requested to dine there, but someone came out and gave us the go-ahead. Most of the time we have had to ask several restaurants before we can actually find one, so we are always glad to be able to actually sit down and eat.
But I love the experiences that can only come with travelling. The awkwardness of the language barrier, the grace that is being shown despite all the communication difficulties and misunderstandings, the challenges that come with navigating and being in unfamiliar environments.
In Singapore I feel half of my consciousness is being shut off due to the familiarity and the fact that Singapore can be driven from one end to the other in less than an hour. We are constantly trying to experience our country with renewed eyes, but we cannot overcome our subconscious being in auto-pilot mode.
I don’t feel like I have many reasons to live – unlike many people I don’t particularly like chasing goals or even having a purpose in life. But I love my partner and when I am not existentially depressed I like to feel that my consciousness is expanding. Travel is something that consistently enriches my soul – it adds colours to my dull existence.