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I read last year’s post before writing this. Writing is a strange phenomenon. Though I am reading my own writing, it feels like I am reading the writing of another person. Perhaps…
tags /chronic-illness /
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knowing how to be, when ill is also a skill
I had the second sitting of my root canal last tuesday, and while the procedure itself went pretty well, I developed some pain after a few hours had passed. I asked the…
the dam
[tw warning: suicide ideation] Yesterday I had another episode where I spent hours crying. This actually feels embarrassing to write, but intellectually I think it is society that conditions us to think…
some ruminations on the inherent dislike of my self
[cw: suicidal thoughts] I guess this does not come as a surprise to anyone – I think I have an inherent dislike for my self. No one who inherently likes them selves…
from creativity to activity
I started making websites and dabbling in photoshop when I first got my computer at 15. I never felt particularly creative as a child and I hated art classes so when that…
getting closer to my darkness
I have always struggled with my mind, but the intensity seemed to worsen in the past few months. Tracing back, I think it was since my covid infection. I wasn’t surprised to…
precarious health, and bringing the whole self to every encounter
I had another health episode this past week after our penang trip. I have a habit of measuring my heart rate and heart rate variability every morning when I wake up to…
on imagining myself as a game character
On most days, I don’t feel like doing anything. This non-feeling taken to the extreme, can also mean I may not feel like living. Everything including breathing itself can feel like a chore. I am not…
co-existing with my broken mind
I’ve been feeling more down these days. I am not sure if it is pms, covid, both, or just responding to reality in general. I don’t really get why people are not…
where i can take off my mask
Recently I’ve been getting some feedback from multiple sources that they appreciate I am able to write it as it is. In parallel I’ve also been thinking about why I share so much…