one important thing i’ve learnt in life is that we have to be very intentional in our living, or time will just pass us by while we spend each single day numbed by familiarity and routines. every time we celebrate our monthly anniversary it compels us to be very intentional with the day and each other: we try to think of fun or meaningful plans, and it is the only day in the entire month we put aside everything and just fully focus on spending time together. if you’ve told me 93 months ago that this single ritual would be so binding and powerful for us i would have laughed. it just sounds like an excuse to have fun. but now with the profound hindsight that can only come with this long passage of time, i have to say the choice and act of preserving this intention have unexpected far-reaching cascading effects. every relationship has an invisible ledger, whether we’d admit it or not. with such a ritual we’ve created such a deep repository of loving positive memories, they carry us through dark and tough times. life can be harsh and cruel, it is important to build up some goodness in our reserves so we can endure the inevitable suffering that will come. and i couldn’t have walked this far without the love she has consistently showered on me for the past 93 months. before her i didn’t have much goodness in my reserves, and now despite all the baggage i carry i can at least try my best to live, knowing i am loved. perhaps i can’t be so intentional in other parts of my life, but i’m glad this is the one area we are both intentional in.