I’ve written before that I tend to be an over-optimiser: I think a lot of it is due to existential anxiety – that the time is running out hence I should fully maximise whatever opportunities I have in the present. Travelling particularly triggers this desire for optimisation. The effort taken to fly over to a new location is tedious these days because we take quite a number of covid precautions, the time is limited in that place, who knows if we’ll be able to visit it again considering mortality and impermanence (my favourite two words these days) – so I want to do whatever I can to maximise the things I want to do while travelling.
Unfortunately even for travelling the outcome is the same. Trying to optimise too much will lead to a sub-optimal experience. I do know it intellectually but I cannot help myself.
Jeju has been one of our bucket list items for a long while. We are korean tv fans, so we want to visit a place where it has been so heavily featured in their media culture. We chose to come at the beginning of october because it is supposed to be perfect weather.
Sadly due to climate change it is now middle october and 28 degrees celsius. 28 degrees celsius in singapore is actually cool weather, but over here it is searing hot. The weather app says it is 6 degrees above the average daily high. I have learnt from this experience that in future I should check the trends for the specific past few years instead of the past decade or so.
I realised for me travelling is really a continuous test for equanimity. I can try to make the perfect plan in my head, but reality tends to have other plans for me. I could get very frustrated, or just focus on experiencing the present. I should meet a place where it is, instead of wondering why is it not adhering to some fantasy in my head.
Thankfully jeju is a place that makes it easy to be present. I saw a tangerine tree for the first time in my life, and it was such a wonderful experience.
I remember being so amazed seeing a giant turtle in hawaii once, and a friend who lives there was amazed that I was so amazed, because to him he sees them all the time. But we hardly have turtles or fruit trees in singapore, so in some ways we are lucky because we experience wonderment a lot when we travel. There are so many things the locals take for granted which we would go gaga over. I guess we take many things in singapore for granted too, but I would like to believe that seeing a tangerine tree evokes some primordial profound feelings versus experiencing the clean and efficient state of singapore.
Apart from the searing hot weather we also accidentally stumbled upon Chuseok season in jeju. It was not only chuseok, there were public holidays before and after, so for roughly 10ish days jeju was swarming with people. Again I tried to look at it from a different perspective: that being able to witness what chuseok is like in jeju is also an experience in itself.
Still we were able to find pockets of moments and trails where there was virtually nobody around. In fact I was glad to see another human appear in the horizon because I tend to ironically feel claustrophobic when I cannot spot anyone else.
Once in a while I am able to position my camera fast but not fast enough to capture something like this:
Again we don’t really spot large birds in singapore or at least it is not easy to spot one in our very urban environment so I was awed. I am glad that despite my chronic existential depression I can still experience some awe.
Despite the weather we were still able to do some hikes that were relatively sheltered. Hiking in singapore is almost always a hot and humid experience. But with forest shade coupled with 25 degree celsius weather made the hike feel rather cool. People were wearing long sleeves, pants and sweaters. I guess jeju takes the concept of forest bathing quite seriously, because there were loungers peppered everywhere for people to soak in the atmosphere:
We were forced to purchase socks to complement our teva sandals because apparently there are snakes??
We see a ton of people hiking in this hot weather nonetheless, some walking the long olle trails that can be 20km long. It is quite fascinating to bump into fellow hikers in a remote location because we are all walking the same trail. I have this huge fascination with the olle trails, but I’ll probably leave it for another post.
This wasn’t the trip that I’ve imagined, and I can still be caught occasionally lamenting to my partner how we should have arrived just a couple of weeks later. I know, I am just a chronic grouch. But it is still a deeply enriching experience, especially if I could manage to be more mindful and experience what it is really in the moment. I feel like I am on a continuous life lesson: there is just something about travelling that makes the experience more provocative, I guess we can’t help but be on auto-pilot when we are in a familiar environment.
Maybe when I can finally meet a place where it is, I can also meet myself where I am. I am still pretty far off on that journey though. I guess it is precisely that I am again lamenting that I am pretty far off from where I want to be is evidence that I am still unable to meet myself where I am. Yet I continue to walk, and it is through this willingness to move that brings me closer to knowing myself as a person.