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A relationship that strays from one’s prototype is limbically equivalent to isolation

A relationship that strays from one’s prototype is limbically equivalent to isolation. Loneliness outweighs most pain. These two facts collude to produce one of love’s common and initially baffling quirks: most people will choose misery with a partner their limbic brain recognizes over the stagnant pleasure of a “nice” relationship with someone their attachment mechanisms cannot detect. Consider the young man described in the last chapter wrestling with the present-day reenactment of the long-ago love with his fiery, critical mother. As an adult, he faces a binary universe. If he connects with a woman, she turns out to be his mother’s younger clone. But a supportive woman leaves him exasperatingly empty of feeling—no spark, no chemistry, no fireworks.

love, online

originally published on “The Life and Death of an Internet Onion”, a webzine that had a shelf life of an onion – 5 weeks – by @roombaghost, Aug 2021

why we should learn to truly love our selves

There is this pervasive narrative that loving oneself is selfish, especially in confucian societies which prioritise the collective over the self, and certain religions that preach sacrificing for the greater good is…