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small meaningful things

69 months: a home I return to

originally published on instagram haiku for 69 months

69 months! I realised I haven’t written a haiku since 2019, so I wrote one for today’s special occasion for the special person in my life:

empty and floating
entangled with her presence
my being anchored

often during our conversations we would get whimsical and metaphysical, thanking our luck that we could meet each other in this lifetime. metaphysics or not, isn’t it a miracle two people can meet and love each other at the right time and space in the infinite availability of moments? we met each other in our mid-30s: she could have been married, I could still have been in the US, our personalities could still be in a stage of development where we would be massively incompatible — seriously so many times in our relationship we were like we wouldn’t have lasted a week if this was happened to the version of us in the past. in fact, it is still a miracle with the current versions of us — if you knew us separately it is quite inconceivable we are not only together, but also thriving in the alchemy of our combined presence. I often wonder what would my life be like if I hadn’t met her…I can only say whether I was already on the same path or not, it is still true I became fuller, much more grounded, much more realised, a lot more capable of loving, consideration and tenderness — all after I’d met her. my entire life I had no mirror to truly see myself, she is not only my mirror but also my magnifying glass and prism. I am so lucky as a hermit crab living without a shell for so long, I now have a home I return to, and feel safe with.

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