small meaningful things


2021 / 2020 / 2019 / 2018 / 2017 / 2016 / 2015 / 2014 /
on different parts of ourselves, and being understood

Immediately related to this post by Lucy Bellwood:

What I find myself struggling with is the desire to bring the goofy visuals of Instagram, the fleeting thoughts of Twitter, the in-depth artwork process posts of Patreon, and the educational recordings of SoundCloud together under one roof. Oh yeah, and the essays from Medium. And the porthole videos from Tumblr. And the talks from YouTube. Maybe also playlists from Spotify and movie reviews from Letterboxd and…jeez there’s so much to all of this.

I’m different people everywhere. But when S. talked about organizing a blog like a newspaper, my brain lit up. This is that Parts Integration shit I adore. Just think! I could treat these different online selves I’ve inhabited over the years as different columnists, each with their own op-ed.

I’ve also written about this recently:

It is the same for my instagram account. It is like rojak (a type of fruit salad, in Singapore we also use it to describe something that is wildly mixed). Now that I’m posting street photography I was wondering if I should keep that and my personal pictures separate. But I want to be a whole person, just like this website which went from one website to like five before I merged everything together again. Society likes to split things up and make everything its own tiny category with gatekeeping, my own psyche is split up by different entities wanting different versions of me, I am frenzied and flustered because different parts of me want different things.

…and also before:

I want to try to honour all the different selves I have, so this site will be an expression of that.

Glad I’m not the only person who feels this way. I also really appreciated her metaphor on being understood:

The other day B. said he felt illegible to most people—except his grandmother, who could probably read the most chapters of him out of anyone.

I too, feel illegible to most people.

I love my website too

I came across this post by Tracy Durnell on how she loves her website, and that was prompted by another post which was in turn prompted by an old talk by @adactio. I like how we can have a long chain of blog posts.

My website is I love my website. Even though it isn’t a physical thing, I think it might be my most prized possession.

I will pile on to that chain by stating here that I love my website too, that it has served as a refuge for me, by being a space where I can aspire to truly be and express myself (aspire, because I still self-censor a lot).

I am astounded to see someone calling his website his most prized possession, and it makes me wonder if mine is too. After all, it is the most genuine representation of my self, a self that almost never appears in-person.

went down an audio rabbithole

Recently I’ve gotten a pair of wired in-ear monitors to avoid wearing bluetooth earphones for long periods of time just in case it contributes to my migraines. I had to use the Apple lightning to 3.5mm jack adapter, and I started wondering if they affected audio quality in any way. Turns out it opens a deep rabbithole into bluetooth vs wired, digital vs analog, DAPs, DACs, ChiFi, 16 bit vs 24 bit, 44khz vs 192khz, etc.

I was never an audiophile and was pretty happy with the original wired earpods that were included with my iphone as it offered a clean sound compared to bass-heavy sounding ones. But I became too curious about whether there’s really a discernible difference between my 192kbps mp3 and a lossless file on a proper audio player. So I’ve gotten my first DAP:

I had to re-rip my existing CDs and now I’m on a nostalgic audio trip.

I really like discovering and reading blogs

I’ve probably tweeted about this repeatedly but I am sad that a lot of good content is now stuck in facebook/twitter/substack/instagram. They may not make a cohesive browsing experience when you’re trying to get an overview of a person, and a lot of stuff cannot be easily re-surfaced again because they only exist on a fast-moving chronological timeline. I know some people are really good at linking twitter threads, but I still don’t think it is a good browsing experience.

I saw a comment on my blog today, and of course I went to the authors website. It was delightful to read his blog, and through his posts I discovered another blog that feels just really rich. What do I mean by rich? I guess it is when I scroll through it and it is just so personal, diverse and interesting, even if I am not personally interested in their topics.

I guess I’m finally motivated to start my blogroll.

the views that matter

I was just writing in my last post that most people wouldn’t care what I’m doing with this website. This morning I was browsing my RSS feeds when I saw my name on a subject title. I did a double take, thinking I was half awake. Turns out @adactio linked to that post on his website:

I love reading about how—and why—people tinker with their personal sites. This resonates a lot…Oh, and Winnie, I can testify that having an “on this day” page is well worth it!

It instantly made my day, not just because it is @adactio, but that someone out there resonates with what I’m doing. I am again reminded that it is not the opinion of the crowd that matters.

illustration by @launshae titled "whole"

she drew me this as a surprise gift for our anniversary today. she said there was a hole in her life before I came along, and now she’s whole. also she’s always…

first note

I’m experimenting with a new format on this website while I’ll post shorter form content. Hopefully this will encourage me to post my fleeting thoughts more often without having to overcome the psychological burden of posting long-form that /journal has for me.

I’m also hoping to use this space to save important instagram posts, tweets and other stuff floating around the internet so I can have a coherent overview of my life’s timeline.