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an archive of everything

existential thoughts while traveling

The thing I have realized while traveling: it is the normality of the place that makes me wonder and wander. Whether in Seoul, Paris or Barcelona, people are just going about their…

van Gogh, anxiety, and me

I finally visited the d’Orsay yesterday, and I had a chance to be up close and personal with Van Gogh. I happened to remember I had a book on him on my…

on being part of a long-running story

I have been keenly following Obama ever since his run in the Democratic primaries. I was new then to American politics (it still confounds me), but the narrative that surrounded him deeply…

blind to the mirror

I spent my first 24 hours in Paris trying to nurse a migraine. These migraines are now a common pattern for me – they represent an accumulation of bad decisions for myself….

the beginning of an adventure

I’m at the airport now, waiting to board my flight to Paris. I have never been to Europe, and this was one of the things on my bucket list that I really…

reconstructing myself

There was a bunch of you who reached out to me personally after my last post, and I just want to put it out here that I am deeply appreciative and grateful…

giving myself permission to heal

They say when you hit rock bottom, there’s no where else to go except upwards. I want to say that sometimes it may be better to rest and rejuvenate at the bottom,…

becoming myself

One of the best things that come from a combination of age, experiences and also being chronically suicidal is that I give less of a shit to everything. I used to worry…

building a core

I feel like I am in a period of transition, but maybe I am always meant to be in a period of transition –– they call it growth, perhaps? I have just…